I am depressed … without phone … money for rent … money for child support … money for debts … money!!! … I am haunted by the vivid memories of killings and corpses and anger and pain … of starving or wounded children, of trigger-happy madmen, often police, of killer executioners … I have gone to join Ken if I am that lucky.

-Part of the suicide note of Kevin Carter, a photojournalist and member of The Bang Bang Club.

I just finished watching the drama film The Bang Bang Club, about the real members, and started some research on what the journalists actually did. Kevin Carter took one of the most famous photographs in the world, that of a vulture preying on a starving girl in Sudan. Criticism for his inaction aside, it’s a powerful photo.

But what gets me is his suicide note. It’s just raw. I want to be a combat reporter, I want to try to cover things that Carter, Marinovich, and others have done. I just wonder how anyone can cope with seeing the horrors that humans inflict upon one another. I wonder if I can. I don’t so. (via nslayton)

FJP: Carter won the 1994 Pulitzer Prize in Feature Photography for this photo of a starving Sudanese girl with a vulture in the background. While he won photography’s top journalism award, he was heavily criticized for taking the picture and the image itself is seminal in debates surrounding journalism ethics. 

Carter killed himself in July 1994. He was 33. A New York Times obituary is here.

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