Al Jazeera English continues with their special series, the Mainstream Media’s Dictionary.
caliphate. n. Future involving Ayman Al-Zawahiri sitting on a throne watching bearded footballers in long shorts contesting the Islamic Cup final in Seville.
catastrophe. n. Good way to describe an earthquake or tsunami. Add “of biblical proportions” to increase viewership.
caucasian. adj. Let’s leave the suspect’s race out of this, it’s not relevant.
cheerleader. n. See journalist.
Moving on to selections for the letter ‘D’:
darling. n. Last known positive description, after ally, to describe third world leader before we start using strongman, dictator.
dead. n. See newsworthy.
defiant. adj. Use this word to describe any speech by dictator. Content needn’t be noted.
dehumanising. v. tr. Effects of militia attack that killed the child, not exacerbated by the journalists who require the grieving eyewitness mother to describe the ordeal (preferably with tears) in a thirty second soundbite. If it’s over thirty seconds, get her to do it again until she gets it right.
disaster. n. Conflict and catastrophe-free 24 hour news cycle.
disinformation. n. The other channel.