Are You Ready for a Zombie Attack
News is a weird gig. So many stories so outlandishly odd you couldn’t possibly make them up.
And with the zombie batch hitting the headlines over the past week, from the naked face eater in Miami (hat tip to Slate for this understated lede: “A naked man now identified as 31-year-old Rudy Eugene was shot dead Saturday after he refused to stop eating another man’s face.”), to a college student eating the brains and heart of his roommate (pro tip: keep an eye out on your dorm mates), to the Canadian man who’s been mailing body parts to the headquarters of that country’s major political parties, to… well, should we go on?
Because we can, let’s note that another Canadian man arrested four years ago for cannibalizing a fellow bus passenger just had his first interview. Appears God told him to save people from aliens.
Which brings me to the US Center for Disease Control.
Did you know they have a zombie survival guide?
“If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack,” says Dr. Ali Khan, the CDC’s Director for the Office of Public Health Preparedness and Response.
I don’t buy it. I think the CDC knows exactly what’s going on.
It’s a zombie world and we just happen to live in it. — Michael
Bonus: Our Guide to Zombie Survival from last October. Not to be confused with our Zombie Map of the World from September.
Image: Are You Ready for a Zombie Attack. Slightly edited. Original source unknown.